The Perfect Business Process: Becoming a Dataset for Your Own Layoff 🩸

Recently I wrote about how corporations install spyware to track their own employees' mouse and keyboard movements in order to train AI agents.

And now the finale of this story has arrived from a very famous (and banned in Russia) corporation of Mr. Mark Z.

Audio from a closed All-Hands meeting was leaked online. In the recording, the CEO explains in plain language why they were secretly collecting data from their programmers' work machines.

The reason is simple: the average IQ of an engineer in big tech is much higher than that of cheap outsourced annotators. Why pay contractors for poor-quality labeling when you can simply log how smart people use software and feed that to a neural network?

And why weren't employees told? Because competitors are always watching, and it's "not in our strategic interests." Perfect.

So, the algorithm is trained. What's next?

That's right, mass layoffs. Just the other day, the corporation began laying off 8,000 people. That's about 10% of the workforce. Engineers and product managers were the first to go.

But the funniest part is what happens to those who remain.

According to an internal document, about 7,000 survivors are being forcibly transferred to new divisions with telling names like "Agent Transformation Accelerator." Managerial positions are being eliminated, and the structure is being flattened. The remaining "leather bastards" are forced to personally finish developing the AI agents that will replace management tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, themselves.

Inside the company, there is now hysteria. Employees are writing petitions (already over 1,000 signatures) against mouse tracking, posting pictures of elephants in the corporate chat ("elephant in the room"), and naively demanding answers.

They still think they will be treated "ethically." They still don't understand that their life cycle now looks like this:
1️⃣ You beat out hundreds of candidates and land a job in big tech.
2️⃣ You do your work while a keylogger carefully collects your decision-making logic and shortcuts.
3️⃣ Your patterns train an AI agent.
4️⃣ You are thrown out for "cost optimization."

CAPITALISM, HAPPINESS, F*** YEAH! 💪