D - Director of a premium German home appliance brand.

Me - Me.

D: We need PR help because we've run out of clients.
Me: That's a common problem. But it sounds like we need to discuss the scope of work with a marketer.
D: No need to discuss anything with him, he's doing fine.
Me: What do you want then?
D: I want to make a splash. That's my task.
Me: Let me give you an example. Two years ago I saw a home appliance booth at the Cosmoscow exhibition, in collaboration with a contemporary artist. That's a good example of integration, don't you think?
D: I don't know. What will that give?
Me: Contact with a solvent audience.
D: I don't need contacts. I don't even know what that exhibition is. And I am the target audience for this appliance.
Me: You can't judge tools subjectively. Not everything is evaluated by whether we like it or know it.
D: Yes, you're right. But actually, I want to say this: you're used to sitting in your corporations and cutting cash, but my business is unique, different. Have you figured it out?
Me: At the beginning of the meeting, you told me in detail about the form of your business. It's interesting. But we're not going to promote you as an innovator and entrepreneur, but the appliance, right?
D: Yes, right. Actually, I've been looking for a PR person for a year, and everyone talks some nonsense. I don't need your strategies, I need ideas. Real ideas.
Me: I described one of them, let's discuss it.
D: I don't understand how to calculate its effectiveness.
Me: I understand. It's all calculable.
D: You're lying. You PR people are used to just burning money. No one has ever calculated the effectiveness of such integrations.
Me: Let's step back a bit. What if I told you there is media metrics? You can measure growth in mentions, for example.
D: I like that. That works.
Me: So growth in mentions would work as a metric for you?
D: Yes. Although what will that give? It's all air, you trade in air.
Me: Thank you, I understand the current state of affairs in the brand. I'll think it over and contact Natalya by the end of the week.


These are the clients nowadays. Of course, right after the door, I sent Natalya a voice message that probably made her want to sprinkle the phone with holy water.

There were also passages in the dialogue about "we grew a lot last year" (Rusprofile shows a 70% drop in profit and a critical mass of borrowed funds).

That's how we live.