Remakes of Asian cinema can, with equal probability of success, become “The Departed” or “Oldboy.” “Hide and Seek” is from the second category. And even the wonderful Jonathan Rhys Meyers does not save the situation.

Starting March 31, “Hide and Seek” by Joel Moore hit Russian theaters — a remake of the 2013 Korean film of the same name, which had already been reinterpreted in the 2016 Chinese version. As is often the case when Asian cinema is adapted for the American film machine, much is lost: from spirit and authenticity to meanings and subtext. And here too, the director cast aside everything “unnecessary” and focused on visuals and gripping action. However, even that was barely achieved given the budget.

House, Mystical House

Noah Blackwell (Jonathan Rhys Meyers) is rich and successful, having received a substantial inheritance from his father. But chaos erupts into his already familiar luxurious and orderly world in the form of a ghost from the past — his brother Jacob.

Noah receives overdue bills from his relative from some musty residential building that was once a luxurious hotel. Hoping to find Jacob, Noah sets off for the mysterious building, full of colorful characters and secrets, desperately reminiscent of the dark events of their shared youth.

In terms of exposition, the film “Hide and Seek” is in perfect order. An ambiguous protagonist who constantly tries to wash his hands of something, making the viewer rack their brains over what his secret is. The mystical aura of a half-ruined building, which houses a silent grandmother with nesting dolls, a one-eyed girl with an infectious laugh, and inscriptions appearing on the walls. And a script that immediately outlines several plot tropes hinting at the possibility of seeing something more than a B-grade horror.

... and then there will be that

And just when the viewer is maximally ready to get thrills from the ghosts of the mysterious house, to be surprised by the witty critique of social inequality woven into the narrative, to try, along with Rhys Meyers’ character, to stay on the emotional rollercoaster, the film “Hide and Seek” crumbles to pieces like plaster in the building where the main events unfold.

One cheap (in every sense: both visually and conceptually) episode follows another, characters appear and disappear, plot logic is pinned to the mat by any question that arises (and there will be many). Everything feels chaotic and confusing. At one moment, the hero gets hit in the face, and the next, no one cares. Characters generally react strangely to everything happening.

Because of this, the “boo” moments are not scary at all, the hero and his actions evoke no empathy, and the hinted intrigues do not keep you on edge. You just want it all to end. And this is with an ultra-short runtime by modern standards of just over an hour. There is a feeling that in trying to raise the level of paranoia to another level, director Joel Moore himself fell into paranoia, which led him somewhere wrong.

The only trump card of the film “Hide and Seek” is Jonathan Rhys Meyers’ attempts to give his character depth. He playfully switches from the mode of a good-natured family man to a man obsessed with getting to the truth at any cost. But he has no room to spread his wings. The runtime constraints press down, the predictable character development, and the attempts to avoid, God forbid, venturing into territory more complex than an ordinary entertaining horror flick. But is that enough to watch the film? Hardly.

Trailer: