Aidan and His Pathological Inability to Accept Help from Others


So, we have a person who seems to can't stand being helped. Well, in general, that's true)) And there are quite clear reasons for this. Unfortunately, I can't state them directly without spoiling the plot, so let's just figure it out based on the facts.

In short, for AJ, help is not just help. It's a situation where he has to admit that he can't handle something on his own. And that's almost unacceptable. It's as if it makes him weak and pathetic—a rather unpleasant feeling, wouldn't you agree? Especially considering his proud and independent nature. There's also another reason: Aidan is used to relying only on himself, because in the past he tried to rely on others and several times it ended up pretty badly. So he gradually developed a very convenient system: if you don't trust anyone, don't expect anything from anyone, and do everything yourself, then no one can let you down. And consequently, no one can hurt you again.

Hence all his wonderful reaction to attempts to take care of him: "back off, I'll do it myself." And it doesn't matter at all whether he really can do it himself. Even if he can't. Even if there's a person in front of him who is objectively able to help and doesn't demand anything in return (like Dominic). The very fact that someone is trying to do something for him can already be perceived as an encroachment on his independence.
And here's the thing: Aidan actually needs people. He's not some emotional hermit who really doesn't need anyone—although he tries his best to seem like one. He can become attached, can worry about others, can protect, can gradually start to trust. But as soon as someone tries to care for and protect him himself, that's when his fierce internal resistance kicks in. This can be traced literally from the very first meeting with Domi and continues to this day. Long? Well, for us—yes, we've been soaking in this storyline for many years, but for Aidan... Because it's unrealistic to completely reshape yourself in just a few days.
Because accepting help is not just allowing another person to do something for you. It's also admitting: "I'm not obliged to cope with everything alone." And for AJ, that's a very heavy thought. He spent too long building his independence precisely on the belief that loneliness is safer than dependence on other people.
And that's why I find his dynamic with Dominic very telling. Because Dominic is exactly the kind of person who reacts to someone else's problem with: "Okay, let's figure this out." And Aidan reacts to that with something like: "NO NEED TO FIGURE ANYTHING OUT, I'VE ALREADY FIGURED IT OUT." Even if Dominic is just trying to support him, not take away his control over his own life.
And the most interesting thing here is that Aidan has to learn not just to trust people, but to accept the fact that trust makes you vulnerable. You can give a person the opportunity to help—and they really might let you down. You can tell them that you're in pain—and they really might use it against you. You can become attached—and they really might leave you.
But there's also the flip side: if you constantly refuse help just because theoretically you might be let down, you end up getting exactly what you were so carefully trying to avoid.
You really do end up alone.
And here Aidan faces the most unpleasant exercise for such a person: learning to distinguish between "I can't handle it myself" and "I don't have to do everything myself."
Because the first sounds like weakness to him.
And the second—like trust.
And with the second, as we understand, things are a bit more complicated for him lol