The secret of Malevich's square is revealed - it's a black stripe, end view.

A close person of mine got very discouraged due to a string of failures. No matter what he does, it either doesn't work out or doesn't pay off. He's been struggling for years, "like a fish against the ice"...

And he's not stupid... And he's not lazy... And he's not afraid to try new things... And he's not even a drunkard or a dreamer. He has hands and a head.

But alas and alack - the stone flower doesn't bloom, no matter how hard he tries. And time is ticking, debts and prices are rising, needs are not standing still either - due to prolonged stress, they shift towards the pharmacy, and the desire to buy pleasure turns into a desire to reduce the feeling of pain, fear, and doubt.

Lately, he's been increasingly talking about hiring on a rotational basis somewhere (building a subway, the North, the sea), but it's not that simple there either - I know, I worked 12 years beyond the Arctic Circle and saw how people are arranged there. Half the money will go to booze to keep from going crazy.

Another income option in his field of vision (so far as a plan B) seems to be - SVO.

"What, they pay pretty well there, don't they?" - he says to me with a smile, carefully masking slight despair and hope that I'll talk him out of it. I talk him out of it with examples - I draw attention to the number of those who didn't return entirely on their own leg and the number of those brought by delivery service... it's no joke.

"Okay, but what to do then! Who will feed the family and how?" - he asks with irritation and an attack on the world.

And what can I tell him, besides the cynical words "everything will be fine, you'll cope". I must be sure of that before I say it. I am giving birth to hope in him that he will cope tomorrow, despite not having coped yesterday...

"And if I don't cope? I don't know what to do anymore... I can't even afford to leave the house. What difference does it make in the end how I cease to exist - drink myself to death and degenerate due to learned helplessness, or become a hero of the war for a minute...?" - he muses aloud, hoping to hear his own words and be horrified. And that this nonsense will invigorate him, give him strength to hold out until the chance he definitely won't miss.

"Hold on, brotherly soul. Don't make any rash moves... We still need you alive and whole. Your time will come..." - I say quietly, with pauses, trying not to betray the lump in my throat...

P.S.
I know you're reading this post. Don't pay attention to the small number of reactions. Just know that you are not alone. Many people have a hard time, but in the end and always - after the darkest hour - dawn comes. And our task is to wait for that moment.

Hugs