You didn't exactly ask, but I did it. I plan to repeat it in a month; I enjoyed working in a compact format.

War Machine

Reacher vs. Metal Gear. A team of future rangers goes into the wilderness for a state exam and encounters a giant combat robot. A big, noisy, and sometimes silly sci-fi action film about how the good meat machine Alan Ritchson tries to prevent a very evil metal machine from turning a platoon of cadets into mincemeat. Like "Predator" if the predator were a Terminator.

Who should watch: fans of "Reacher" and Kojima (the genius has already approved the film on Twitter).


Send Help

Underlings vs. the Master. After a plane crash, a clueless office worker and her scumbag sexist boss are the only survivors on an island, where it quickly becomes clear that they need to fight not so much nature as each other. Sometimes funny, other times banal tropical survival story about gender and class warfare; Sam Raimi has definitely done better. Like "Triangle of Sadness," but starting right from the middle.

Who should watch: fans of criticizing capitalism and reading Stephen King's "Misery" (not necessarily at the same time).


Cold Storage

Warehouse workers vs. Cordyceps. Beneath an ordinary storage unit complex hides an old military facility where they kept an unpleasant alien mold, and it decided to go for a walk. A dark sci-fi comedy with vibes of both Michael Crichton and not-so-smart 80s sci-fi, where KPIs for slimy biomass and toxic sludge are met, but humor is sometimes lacking (though the gag about Liam Neeson's back is, of course, something). Like "Tremors," but with fungal zombies instead of underground worms.

Who should watch: undemanding fans of old-school trash sci-fi.


Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice

Temporal doubles vs. organized crime. Gangster Nick arrives from the future to fix past mistakes: out of jealousy, he framed his buddy Mike, and now he's trying to undo it. A lively and goofy comedic action film with good pacing, colorful characters, and decent shootouts. Like "Back to the Future," but instead of a school dance, a mafia party in a strip club, and instead of Marty, three guys with guns.

Who should watch: fans of brisk mayhem with good music.


Crime 101

Thor vs. Hulk. Detective Loubesnik (Mark Ruffalo) has been investigating for years a chain of jewelry heists—both literally and figuratively—that seem unconnected except that they all occur along Highway 101, leading from Los Angeles to San Francisco and further north. A very meticulous thief Mike (Chris Hemsworth) has been hitting jewelry stores and deals along Highway 101 for years, and in his free time, he has awkward social conversations with prostitutes and dreams of retiring. Well, you get it—a tense, multi-character, almost Michael Mann-esque crime thriller with respect for professionals on both sides of the law, a quiet longing for another life, and an inevitable head-on collision between two tired men. Like "Heat," but not "Heat."

Who should watch: everyone tired of waiting for a new Michael Mann film and not opposed to a quality substitute—even if it falls short in originality, dynamics, and execution brilliance.

#watched_movies