I'm absolutely furious when results at any cost are served under the guise of iron discipline.

When people tell me on calls that:

— the biggest difficulty was working with a nutritionist because he constantly scolded them, and then terminated the contract

— working with a trainer gave results, but they cried after every workout because he pushed them hard, and having to send every gram of food was humiliating

my heart bleeds and I want to give that specialist a good slap.

It seems to me that some specialists confuse working with a client and discipline with training. But people, dammit, are not poodles.

On one hand, I understand the logic.
Need results? I have them: here's a calorie deficit, a meal plan, and let's go. Hard? Well, it was probably easy to gain weight. A rotten manipulation with shame, where would we be without it.

To be safe, you can call the client a lazy dumpling or a little pie so they don't relax. I've seen that too.

On the other hand, as soon as the "overseer" disappears, the person will relapse so badly that it won't be pretty. Because they were taught to obey, to criticize themselves, not to live and maintain weight.

When you are scolded or shamed for eating a croissant, it's stress. The brain is in a panic, the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for logic, shuts down. The person is physically unable to make a "wise decision." They will turn to food as a quick way to calm down.

If a person gets punished over and over for mistakes, they stop trying. They develop learned helplessness and the belief "something is wrong with me, nothing will help me."
This kills self-efficacy—the belief that their actions have any effect.

One might argue that when a doctor treats a patient, they don't care whether the patient likes the treatment or not. And they won't persuade.
But that logic is flawed.

A doctor can prescribe an antibiotic, and it will work even if the patient doesn't like it. In nutrition and weight loss, it doesn't work that way: results only come through the person's daily decisions.
How can they make informed decisions when they are constantly stressed? What kind of decisions, dammit, can a dumpling make?

It's easier to demand "weigh everything to the gram" than to understand: why is this particular person afraid to send their diet? Is it fear of judgment, paralyzing shame, or are they just tired?

And no, I'm not saying we should work in the spirit of "oh you poor thing, have another cookie."

I'm saying that the system should be functional, not burn out the person's mind, and not humiliate them.

Of course, the client needs to be engaged and take action. But action not out of fear of being scolded, but out of understanding. When you understand what, why, and how you are doing it.

And instead of an overseer with a whip and training, you need a system that takes into account your schedule, workload, taste preferences, and other life context.

It is this approach, not training, shame, and humiliation, that will yield sustainable results.


What do you think? Have you encountered a harsh approach? Was it effective for you?