Continuing on emotional regulation skills. During a session, a psychologist told me about the SMER tool (Situation, Thought, Emotion, Reaction), which I tried on myself and trained to see in the moment which thoughts trigger my anxiety and change automatic reactions into more deliberate ones. Every time a situation occurs, ➡️the brain triggers a chain of thought➡️emotion➡️reaction. By gradually memorizing this algorithm, the brain activates this chain automatically. And we become more anxious, more irritable, more insecure.

Example
Situation: A colleague didn't reply to a message
Thought: "He's ignoring me because I didn't have time to take on his task"
Emotion: Resentment + guilt
Reaction: in the body - a lump in the throat, action - I decide to ignore him too, withdraw into myself
Now imagine the thought changes to: "He's probably in a meeting, he'll reply later." The emotion and reaction would be different.

By tracking such chains daily, you can:
✔️see recurring automatic thoughts
✔️realize in which similar situations they arise and how they affect emotions and behavior
✔️learn to change automatic thoughts into constructive ones
✔️improve emotional state and quality of life

For practice, choose one frequently recurring emotion that is difficult for you (e.g., feeling guilty/lonely, anxious/angry/resentful/jealous, etc. daily). Each day you need to:
1️⃣Notice 3-4 instances when you experience this emotion and record them in writing (in the moment or at the end of the day).
2️⃣Try to reconstruct the chain: what thought preceded this emotion? What was I doing/seeing when I thought that?
This way we see which situation triggered the thought, and what emotion followed in response.
3️⃣Complete the chain by recalling what reaction occurred after the emotion. The reaction can be a sensation in the body (shoulders raised, brows furrowed) or an action (responded without thinking, slammed the door). Or both.

📍At first, it's better to write these chains in a notebook for analysis, and later you'll be able to do it automatically in your mind

Initially, this exercise will feel like tidying up your mind—noticing and sorting. Then you'll understand which thoughts help and which hinder. And soon you'll be able to consciously manage your thoughts and choose rational, calm reactions.

#this_will_help