Any resistance requires considerable effort. Imagine you are running, and various objects appear in your path that you need to jump over or run around. And now the run turns into an obstacle course. But what if most of these obstacles are created by yourself when you cannot accept reality and try to fight it? How much energy and strength is spent on such a circular run?

There are situations you cannot influence: a decision made by another person, facts that have already happened (layoff, crisis, diagnosis, breakup), global changes (economic situation, weather). And sometimes admitting that certain things are beyond our control is very scary. Resistance temporarily maintains inner balance and gives a sense of control. But in the long run, it drains energy and creates a feeling of deadlock. We think we are just thinking about it, but for the nervous system, each such mental loop is stress. When all energy goes into fighting what cannot be changed, there is no longer enough to find new options and take real steps.

There are 4 reactions to a problem:
⭐️ solve the problem ⭐️ change your attitude towards it ⭐️ continue to resist and suffer ⭐️ accept it

Events and facts that are beyond our control, we can accept and change our attitude towards them. To accept does not mean to give up and endure. It means to stop the war in order to free up strength for real action.

Ask yourself what depends on you and what does not.
Try to categorize the event into one of the categories:
1️⃣ Not in my power (other people's decisions, events that have already happened, the past)
2️⃣ In my power (my reactions, choices, what I spend time and attention on, what steps I take)
3️⃣ Partially in my power (joint projects, agreements).

Sometimes just this exercise brings great relief: it becomes clear where nothing can really be done and that is a fact.

Reframe your inner dialogue
Use phrases: "I did not choose this, but I can choose how to proceed", "I really don't like this, but it has already happened". This helps to acknowledge the fact and determine your actions/reactions.

Ask yourself how you want to support yourself. And when the resistance subsides, think about what this situation taught you?

#this_will_help